The Bitter Sweet Nostalgia and Comfort of Photographs

I don't know about you, I hope I am not alone in this, but it's at night, when everyone is fast asleep that I feel waves of nostalgia roll over me.

As a mom, there are other things that tumble through my mind as well, all sorts of worries, spasms of anxiety, lists of to dos and self judgments of all the things I haven't done. Night time has always been my contemplation time; when the lights are off and there's nothing to distract, nothing to divert me from my mind's wanderings.

Most often my thoughts turn to my kids. As they sleep with wild abandon, I think of their innocent selves, I think of how much they have grown and will grow and I feel a bitter sweet sense of longing to slow things down. How did they turn so quickly from chubby gurgling baby, to a far slimmer, talkative toddler? How did their imaginations explode so massively? How can I keep them in their trusting, joy filled innocence for as long as possible? Have I kissed and held them enough? Will I always remember the smell of their honey scented skin? How long will my eldest let me pull her in to nuzzle and sniff her hair? What did they look like when they were twelve months old again? Will I remember what they look like now? Will I look back at now, this moment, and wish I had seen how little they still were and miss this time?

It's at these moments that I take great comfort in knowing that I have my photographs. I can walk into my living room and look at the photos I have displayed there. My girls as newborn babes, as crawlers, as rambunctious pre-verbal toddlers, as mischievous, fully verbal three and five year olds.

I will look at those images and I will feel deep love, some sorrow and wistfulness for moments now long past, joy that we have these experiences together, excitement for what is yet to come. The photos are the ties to the past, the documentation of a life-time, something to share with future family. They are priceless. I take great comfort knowing that they are there, to remind me, to send me back to those moments.

And now I'm all teary.

S

PS check out my events page for upcoming mini sessions!

 

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Spring Photo Shoot with the kids

I'm not sure what we were thinking, but coming up on their nap times, I and my fellow photographer and  friend, Melanie, decided we wanted to do an Easter photo shoot with our kids. Let me tell you, there was a lot of running involved as well as some crankiness from our toddlers. The light was a little harsh as it was mid-day (Sometimes it's hard getting that ideal time for photos when kids are involved) but I managed to get a few shots. 

Earlier in the day I discovered a huge field full of mustard that my kids happily ran into for a few pictures as well. For my eldest, who loves picking flower heads, it was a dream come true!

S